they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize