the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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