went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We named our party play list daddy issues
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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