is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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