I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize