vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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