You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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