i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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