Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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