laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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