shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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