Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize