ugly people sure do ruin things
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
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Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
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and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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