He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
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I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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