I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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