You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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