He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
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I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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