Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize