I got chris browned last night
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i barfeds in our rink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wears a wallet chain?!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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