the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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