i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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