oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Im part way to drunk.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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