2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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