i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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