My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fence marks all over my body
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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