try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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