theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
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I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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