you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize