remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize