Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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