I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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