Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize