YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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