She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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