Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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