'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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