If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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