I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
please don't ironically join a cult
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