Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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