apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize