Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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