those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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