I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
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you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
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you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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