I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
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you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
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and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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