my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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