Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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