Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize