is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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