Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
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i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
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I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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