I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize